What Made the Good 'Ole Days So Good?

Years ago although it was enticing I purposed not to live vicariously through my kids. Trying to give them all the things I never had or engage all their free time in activities and events to which I had little exposure when I was a child was not going to enhance life. In retrospect, I didn't miss out on much as a kid. In fact, what would be meaningful to me today is more memories of family, more conversations with my parents, telling stories -  making traditions that I could pass on to my children.

     One of our kids exited grade school and enters junior high this year. The next few years should be exciting - but I hope not of the "in like a lamb, out like a lion" sort.  He'll deal with more academic and social pressure than ever - at about the same time his hormones freak out. Talk about timing. Some of his friends will make poor choices and he'll face temptation he's never had before. He'll have exposure to situations that are unfamiliar to him. He's going to experience stress.

     I hope we've given him lots of opportunities to make good memories. He's going to need them to reflect on when life gets crazy. Yep - we have family time, sit down meals at the kitchen table in our home, play games together, roller blade, view a film from time to time, listen to music, sing songs, crack jokes - go to parks, have dinner out someplace other than fast food, take unplanned road trips, hit the beaches and lakes, play with photography, build with legos - go to church and the list goes long on. And if he chooses to participate in an athletic program, we won't squeeze it in. We'll plan it out.

     Looking around at some of the children my sons age, I wonder if the excess stimulus in their lives merely cultivates stress. Many children are too busy with ballet, soccer, girl scouts, boy scouts, basketball, karate lessons, dance lessons, sports camps, competitions, beauty contests, other contests and a host of other things and agendas. There's hardly time for them to be children.  Parents are on the road juggling family schedules. Dinner is served out of paper bags from fast food restaurants and inhaled as the SUV screams its way to the next engagement barely on time. Often when families regroup at the end of a day, there's homework, baths, video games, TV, email and phone calls competing for the final fleeting minutes of quality time left in yet another day that was too short to cram everything in.

     Are children designed to process this kind of constant stimulus? What's scary is, assuming trends continue, many children will look back and not remember these over-scheduled, over-stimulated lives as the good old days. Over complexity is not necessarily "good" for a child. I wonder if much of the emotional overload America experiences is a result of this over stimulus as well.

     If it ever seems just a little wrong to have over-scheduled lives, maybe it is. Could it be that all the while many parents feel they are giving their kids everything - instead they are robbing them? And what was it about the "good 'ole days" that made them good?