My Lips Are Mumbling, But My Heart is (Trying to be) Quiet

A friend sent me a book 12 years ago written by Elizabeth Elliot titled Keep a Quiet Heart. Since then I have moved about a dozen times and the volume yet remains on my bookshelf today.

Having been ill with an upper respiratory infection for nearly 2 weeks (which got ugly and required drugs), I felt increasingly impatient, anxious and restless. I thought of my teacher friend who had sent the book. We made our acquaintance in a hospital lab as we waited to have tests. Illness forced her to quit her job. She moved in with her parents because she needed their care. Some days she suffered more than others, but she kept a quiet heart. We wrote faithfully to one another for several years offering encouragement and sharing the other's burdens. My heart leaped each time I saw a letter in the box from her.

I went to my shelf and pulled the book down, snuggled into bed and read. And remembered. Many many times over the years, I felt worse. And I couldn't rely on my own strength. And I remembered how I learned to trust - and how easy it has been to forget when life looked peachy. I accepted that sometimes I needed a little heat with my chicken soup. I needed to feel the pain.

In What to do When You Don't Know What to do, Dr's. Henry Cloud and John Townsend write, "Throughout the ages, spiritual people have studied how identifying with [Christ's] pain helps us draw closer to Him, see life as it really is, and take a right approach to life's problems. This is why there is much to be learned through problems as we allow ourselves to come closer to God's suffering, especially the sufferings of Jesus: 'Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before him, endured the cross' (Hebrews12:2a). When we identify with God's sufferings, we are deepened and matured. Many people say that getting through a problem was not nearly as important as what they learned about suffering God's way."

There is no illness that could compare to Christ's suffering. Yet whenever I experience pain or trouble, it feels like the worst thing in the world. After all my loud complaints the past 2 weeks, the tears, the burning throat, coughing and hacking, stuffy head, aching ribs - my heart is learning to be quiet again.